Using darkness to light the path to personal transformation
As the light of the sun begins a new solar cycle today at Winter Solstice, it seems ideal to offer a blog from Raising Spirit. To share my learnings from the year, I hope to bring courage, motivation and build awareness for anyone battling their own demons.
Invisible disabilities
Those that know me, have complimented this year by saying – “you look well”. Of course, considering I had brain surgery last year, I do look comparatively well but what can’t be seen are the invisible struggles I have to navigate each day.
My focus for 2022 was to work on myself – mainly due to having no choice. It has been a worthwhile but difficult journey, having to be brave and lean into much pain. Knowing it wasn’t going anywhere and that the only way to handle it was to experience it in the hope I’d come out the other side.
As humans we tend to avoid pain and move towards pleasure… running from difficult emotions by distracting or numbing ourselves – only to discover the feelings are still there.
My ‘looking well’ over the past year has involved but has not been limited to the following:
Insomnia, tiredness & lack of stamina
PTSD & psychological exhaustion treated by hardcore EMDR therapy
Fibromyalgia - muscular / skeletal aches & pains
Hypersensitivity, hyper vigilance, vision & balance issues
Who’s afraid of the dark?
Balanced with hopefulness and a desire and commitment to help yourself, the healing journey of sitting in the darkness is profoundly transformative. The first part of my recovery was physical but the unforeseen psychological aspects of handling the emotional silt that was stirred up due to going through a life changing near death experience has taken equal effort.
To heal you must first endure pain. It is a journey and a choice as to whether we embrace the healing or avoid it. However, the human experience - at either end of the spectrum - leads to a degree of discomfort and it is from this place we can find a chance to grow.
What this year has shown me is that by reaching into discomfort you can find light.
The unpleasant thoughts and feelings which are often avoided in the human experience - due to being labelled as bad - lead to pure alchemy.
Here comes the light
I could not have anticipated the extent to which I would have to work on my recovery following brain surgery. Ramifications ensued across all aspects of my life. Impacting literally every relationship, my livelihood, my parenting, my physical state and abilities and my psychological wellbeing.
What I have learnt is that from being within your pain that healing is possible on levels unseen and intangible. It is possible to transmute discomfort that impacts our wellbeing across all levels, psychologically, physically and emotionally and from this transformative place we grow.
By allowing ourselves to feel our emotions and experience our own darkness we develop and our view and perspective can change allowing for a new expression of ourselves.
As with nature on the winter solstice what comes forth is the light. The key is not in letting darkness overwhelm our lives and our thoughts but in understanding that darkness can be one of the greatest catalysts for personal growth and transformation there is.
On this special day as the year draws to a close and we have extended darkness, I’d like to thank everyone who has been part of my journey or worked with me this year. I wish everyone a magnificent darkest night to transform and find the light.
I urge you -
explore the dark side of the moon
Love Clare x
